(Creative Content)

Putting Funny Ads To Work For Your Boring-Ass Business – Pattern Interrupt

Commonly used phrases, that are normally boring conversation fillers, present an opportunity to get attention.

Asia Gregg
Asia Gregg
November 23, 2021
Putting Funny Ads To Work For Your Boring-Ass Business – Pattern Interrupt

Hello boys and girls.

Today’s article is brought to you by the letter C.

elmo

Can you guess what the C-word is?

That’s right! The C-word of the day is COLLOCATIONS!

Can you tell Elmo what collocations are?

That's right! Collocations are the habitual juxtaposition of a particular word with another word or words with a frequency greater than chance!

Wow! You're so smart! Elmo is impressed!

Okay enough of THAT.

Simply put, collocations are groups of words that are commonly used together. Kind of like clichés or idioms. (The internet likes to say collocations are different from clichés and idioms, but diving down that rabbit hole gets confusing FAST, so we're going to keep it simple and consider them the same thing.)

Collocation examples are phrases like:

  • Happily married
  • Have a drink
  • Make a difference
  • Take a seat
  • The grass is always greener on the other side
  • Piece of cake
  • Happy birthday
  • Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed
  • A case of the Mondays
  • Break a leg
  • Time flies when you're having fun

... You get the idea.

Commonly used phrases, that are normally boring conversation fillers, present an opportunity to get attention. You just had to add a twist to the end.

Why don't I just show you what I mean.

Elmo loves nursery rhymes. So Elmo's first example comes from standup Andrew Dice Clay. He takes nursery rhymes and adds a twist to make them new and surprising.

This technique was fire for Dice. Notice how the audience goes wild for them, and even MEMORIZED them. (And if you’ve never seen Dice before, aren’t you in for a treat.)

An attention-grabbing technique is to take a common phrase, colloquialism, idiom, collocation, etc and change the ending to something unanticipated. This raises awareness, because it sets up an expectation, then shatters the pattern.

Your brain is an expert at pattern recognition. When your meat-computer senses a pattern it's familiar with, it can safely ignore that pattern.

If you were to shatter that pattern, your brain snaps into focus. It better pay attention, because thousands of years ago when we were living in caves and dragging our knuckles on the ground, new things were potentially dangerous.

Caveat: Clichés are only attention-worthy if they are NOT used traditionally.

The only appropriate time to use a cliché is if you are either making fun of it, or putting your own twist on it.

Clichés are overused by definition. Our brains have seen them all before, so we are conditioned to ignore them. They are benign. We know that pattern.

But if you shatter that pattern, then you are more worthy of attention.

A killer way to shatter patterns is with one-liner jokes. This technique is highly effective at catching and holding people’s attention. And they are DIFFICULT to get right. One-liners follow a simple formula:**#1. Setup#2. Punchline (The twist)**Looks easy on paper. But it’s not. It’s HARD. There’s a whole lot happening between #1 and #2.

The Setup:

One-liners are so effective at misleading us because the setup and the twist happen incredibly fast like a one-two punch. The setup is designed to lure us into a false sense of security; we think we know where they’re going. One liners can start with an observation, statistic, fact, universal truth, piece of advice, opinion, or a short story. Let’s look at a few examples. The setups are in bold, the twists are in italics. Universal truth one liner:

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long if you’re fat. - Joe Lycett

Exercise:

Some good examples of universal truths are proverbs. Try Googling the most famous proverbs and come up with your own twist or angle. How could you give the proverb a second, unintentional meaning? “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” How else can you interpret this? What other ways would an apple keep a doctor away? Do you throw it at them? Shove it in their car tailpipe? Is an apple a day the only healthcare plan you can afford? Here’s a list of 50 proverbs to get you started. Pick a couple and try giving them alternate interpretations. Statistic one liner:

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. - Jackie Mason

**Exercise:**This blueprint is easy to practice. Replace the stat with another stat, and add a twist to it.[# or %] of [statistic.] The rest [insert twist.] - You

Other exercise:

Skim some headlines in the news. Ask yourself, what is this headline leading me to assume? Then list alternative interpretations of that headline. Watch late night monologues; their jokes use this structure. Opinion one liner: I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, ‘denigrate’ means ‘put down.’ - Bob Newhart I wish people would stop making fun of fat people. They have enough on their plates. - Eddie Murphy

Exercise:

Notice how Bob and Eddie put a twist on the end of their opinions, which turns out to be the opposite of what we thought they meant. We thought Bob wasn’t going to “denigrate” country music lovers. We thought Eddie wasn’t going to make fun of fat people. Their twists prove just the opposite. What opinions can you think of that everyone generally agrees on, and how can you add a twist that either negates that opinion or highlights it from a weird angle that people wouldn’t expect? Piece of advice one liner: Ladies: Don’t come off desperate and reply quickly to your crushes texts. Wait a while. Meet someone else. Get married. Start a family. Keep him guessing. - Violet K. Benson

Exercise:

What pieces of advice have you heard, and how can you turn them around? A lot of common life advice can also be found in proverbs. But there’s also tons of common advice out there about life, personal development, dating, fitness, finance, work, parenting, etc. How could you “misinterpret” that advice to give it a different context? Short story one liner: I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn’t really a date-date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed. - Dave Attell

Exercise:

First we thought Dave was telling us a story about going to dinner and a movie with a model. The twist, in four simple words, completely changes the entire context for us. He’s just another chud on a plane. What experiences can you think of that most people would love to encounter? Like winning the lottery, staying at an all-inclusive resort, flying first class, going on a date with a model, getting VIP access, etc. Feed ‘em a dream, then bring them back down to earth. Jack Handey had a good example: “One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke.

The Punchline:

fortune

The twist completes the story for us, but not in the way we were expecting. It crushes the assumption created by the setup. Dave Barry has a ton of great one liners. It helps to read one liners to get familiar with the rhythm of how they’re supposed to feel. Another way of getting the hang of one-liners is watching them. These standup comics are considered one-liner royalty:(Remember as you’re watching these, you’re not wasting time, you’re STUDYING. You’re not goofing off, you’re working. So get to work watching these.)

Exercise #1: Watch each video all the way through, then go back and watch it again. But the second time, pause after each joke and analyze where the expectation was set up, and how it was shattered. Using the same premise, try adding your own twist. Isolate the verbs, nouns, and adjectives, then substitute them with alternatives. This helps preserve the joke structure, while practicing at making it your own. Shatter the pattern in a new and different way. Exercise #2: Which jokes made you laugh the hardest? (If any? Maybe you didn’t laugh. If you didn’t find any of that funny, I left an apology for you at the bottom.) What was it about them that hit you so hard? Was it the grammar, tone, pronunciation, word choice? Was it something physical, in their facial expressions or movement? Make note.

How Brands Use One Liners:

“But Asia, we is not comedians! We is businesses!” Oh stop it. You don’t have to be a comedian, but you definitely should be paying attention to comedians. They’re a masterclass in how to distill information into highly memorable stories. If you’re still wondering how to incorporate one liners into your marketing, here’s a few examples of brands that have nailed it: Durex:

durex
who's your daddy?
rain rain

I know, using Durex as an example is like cheating. It’s almost impossible NOT to make jokes about a condom brand. So here’s some other, more traditionally “boring” brands that made themselves exciting using witty wordplay and one liners:

The country of freaking Finland:

Helsinki

Scrabble:

Scrabble

Electrolux:

Electrolux

Even Porsche got jokes:

Porsche

This Highlighter Company:

Highlighter
Highlighter

If a little autoparts shop can do it, so can you:

Pumpkin SPice Brake Pads

Daihatsu:

Daihatsu

Your local gym:

Just be ugly

Air Asia knows what’s up:

Phuket

The Economist’s White Out of Red campaign:

Economist
Economist
Economist
Economist

The Economist’s white out of red campaign increased subscriptions by 95%, skyrocketed revenues, and won them numerous awards over the 14 years they ran it. Their circulation rose from 86,000 in 1988 to 141,000 in 2001, at a time when newspapers and magazines had declined by 20% over the past 15 years. All with witty wordplay and one liners. If companies that sell freaking HIGHLIGHTERS can make their ads entertaining, you can too. You just have to put some muscle into it....or you could let us do the heavy lifting. It’s what we were born to do.

(Branding)
(Online)
(Offline)
(Storytelling)
Asia Gregg
Asia Gregg

Fishing for laughs is useless if you don't know how to f*cking fish. That's where I come in. My wheelhouse is humor. Get on my boat 'cause we're gonna go catch some fat tunas.

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Who does the Wizard of Ads® for Services work with?

Wizard of Ads® for Services work with healthy and growing businesses hungry to grow by multiples, like you.

You are ready, willing, and able to grow your business. You are open to change and are seeking a distinctive angle of approach to gain the time and attention of a too-busy public.

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How does the Wizard of Ads® for Services charge?

Traditional full service marketing agencies are designed to capture the greatest amount of revenue from a client, regardless of results. Every last item is billed and expensed to the client. Typical agency fees can represent a whopping 55% of the entire advertising budget. That means a $5 million dollar advertising budget, you would spend $2.75 million on agency fees.

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Our income is not tied to your advertising budget. Our income is exclusively tied to your growth. Our goal is to maximize your advertising impact with the lowest reasonable spend. This allows you to spend only what is necessary or to put extra horsepower into aggressively growing in your market.

The genius of this model is that it perfectly aligns our motivations as true partners for exponential profitable growth without the pain of being unaffordable. Ultimately, we are confident in taking the risk of being underpaid in the first few years because we know the results always speak for themselves.

Next, we do not accept commissions, referral fees, kickbacks, or other compensation from any service providers we recommend or engage for production work. Most agencies do. This includes the 15% agency commission for media buying. This approach is considerably different from the compensation plan employed by most advertising agencies, as it eliminates any potential conflicts of interest and allows us to focus our entire attention on helping you grow your business profitably as a true partner. For example, a $500,000 annual media buy would involve a $75,000 commission that we would have removed directly from your media providers' invoices.

This is the perfect pricing model for services who sell goods with a long purchase cycle.

By tying ourselves to gross revenue, we only have one motivation. Your motivation. We have no motivation to convince you to spend more money on marketing than what is necessary, and since we are a variable expense to sales, we NEVER become too expensive to have us on your team.

In almost every case, we end up lowering the amount of money you spend. We will stay within your planned marketing budget, including your media spend, production, and our Annual Fee. Add on the fact that you get any and all commissions back for media buys and various services provided by outside providers, and you will actually save money having us on your team.

Don’t forget, we have the largest buying power in North America for media buying, meaning for every dollar you spend buying media, we only spend 27 cents on average. This stretches your reach, impact, and frequency in a way no other agency (or yourself) can achieve on your own, saving you hundreds of thousands of dollars, eventually millions, every single year.

Clients who heed our advice and embrace our Marketing Strategy quickly add $1 million in incremental revenue to their business, making your investment a smart bet and a bit of a no-brainer.  

There is no longer any guesswork, hope, or fear that our marketing strategies are going to work. If our client’s are able to abandon any limiting beliefs about marketing, deliver operational excellence, and play the long game, our marketing strategy will accelerate their profitable growth.

Wizard of Ads® for Services pricing model is based solely on the top line revenue of your company. It consists of an Upfront Fee and an Annual Fee. These fees are inclusive of scheduled travel, services, and all other expenditures as outlined in the Consulting Agreement.

The Upfront Fee covers the intensive Uncovery Process, the first year’s Media Buy, the Creative Process, and the Market Research while the Annual Fee goes toward implementation, ongoing creative and consulting, and next year's media buy. You get a team of 3.5 people, with direct access to a top tier Creative Lead and Media Buyer, and on-demand access to me as your Master Strategist. You will also have a full-time Account Manager keeping everything on track.

While the upfront does have an initial pinch, it is easy to amortize the investment over the many years we will be working together to grow your business. Wizard of Ads® retain clients for 10 years, on average. The sale of the business is the number one reason for termination. We actively terminate the bottom 1% of clients who are unwilling or unable to follow our strategies.

Wizard of Ads® for Services believes that all rewards should be directly correlated to the success of our clients. This means that the Wizard of Ads® for Services only receives a raise when the company achieves growth. For example, if your gross sales for the year have increased by 25%, the Annual Fee you pay us in the following year will also be increased by 25%. Likewise, if your gross sales decrease, our Annual Fee will decrease by the same percentage during the following year.

This is an exceptionally easy and fair way to track and reward success. This model was developed by Wizard of Ads® over 35 years ago and has served us well because it serves our clients well.

As a rule of thumb, we take the risk of working for considerably less than our actual value in the first few years as we help accelerate growth. This means you need to be willing to pay us exceptionally well when you start doing even better.

When should I engage The Wizard of Ads® for Services?

There are four key revenue stages for engagement with the Wizard of Ads® for Services.

  1. Under $3.6 million in revenue
  2. Between $3.6 and $10 million in revenue
  3. Between $10 and $20 million in revenue
  4. Over $20 million in revenue

Under $3.6 million in revenue is an investment in your brand. This will serve you well in establishing your brand story early on and help you with your name, logo, and truck wrap design. It's easier to create pictures from a story than it is to make a story based on pre-drawn pictures. You'll be glad you did. Everyone on a fast path to growth is.

Most clients start with Wizard of Ads® for Services between $3.6 and $10 million in revenue. They have often seen a natural ceiling with their leads for demand service and are looking for ways to push past the ceiling. This can only be done with a properly executed brand strategy, specifically in mass media with a sticky story.

Between $10 and $20 million in revenue, Wizard of Ads® for Services has some natural economies of scale. This is a sweet spot where Wizard of Ads® for Services can offer some added value in getting the ball rolling.

Over $20 million in revenue is actually the lowest cost point of entry as a percentage of revenue, but not the cheapest time to start with the Wizard of Ads® for Services. Leveraging all economies of scale aside, we have been left out of the upside along the way, so engaging when over $20 million in revenue means we have to mend a lot of fences damaged along the way. This is also where clients see significant savings in their media buys and production costs.

There are also three market sizes to consider.

  • Primary Markets are the top 50 cities in America.
  • Secondary Markets are the smaller cities in America.
  • Tertiary Markets are the more rural trade areas in America.

When considering an engagement with The Wizard of Ads® for Services, consider what size market you are in. For example, a $3.6 million company in a Primary Market will struggle to get the necessary reach needed to make a splash. You either have to be more patient than a larger company or spend more money to accelerate your reach.

Alternatively, a $5 million company in a Secondary Market will look like a pretty darn big fish in a medium-sized pond.

A $20 Million company in a Primary Market will feel like a $50 million company using our strategies to potential customers.

The key to remember is that the earlier you start with the Wizard of Ads® for Services, the lower the investment to get started. As they say, the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today.

Are production costs included in your fees?

Offline, the Wizard of Ads® for Services Creative Lead will create the ad copy, cast the voice actors, source the production house, direct the performance, pick the music bed, manage all the edits, and provide you with the completed ad for final approval before sending to air on your behalf. This is included in our fees.

You pay for the production house, actors, royalty-free music, and jingles directly to avoid any potential for markups, commissions, or management fees.

We have many friends in the industry that give our clients good deals due to the large volume of work we provide them. We will introduce you to them.

Online, the Wizard of Ads® for Services Digital Lead will either coordinate production in-house or work with your preferred digital vendors. The scope of work will be determined and fees will reflect the scope of work to be done.

How long before a brand-forward strategy starts working?

In approximately three months of activation, we’ll just be getting live on air. In six months (3 months on air), you’ll be getting anecdotal feedback from people that you are being heard, but there will be no direct line to revenue.

After 6 months on the air, you’ll think you made the biggest mistake of your life signing up for this branding nonsense. After 9 months on the air (12 months in) you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel.

At 12 full months on the air, you’ll know why you did this branding thing. Two years from now, we'll be clinking champagne flutes as you wonder why you didn’t do this sooner.

How long before we’re live?

The general guideline is 70-120 days, depending on the level of production needed and if there is a name change to your business.

This includes an onsite visit, a deep dive into research, and getting things created, negotiated, approved, produced, and live on the air.

  • Uncovery - 15-30 days based on travel. 1-2 days onsite.
  • Research - 30-60 days based on the scope of work.
  • Creative and Media Buy Process - 45 to 60 days
  • Offline Production - 15 days for radio. 30 - 60 days for television.
  • Online Production (if switching) - 60 days

This means planning for roughly 90 to 120 days in the proper development and production of a completely unique Marketing Strategy before anything hits the airwaves.

Are you exclusive?

Creatively, yes. During the term of this Agreement, all Creative Partners assigned to your Account shall not engage, directly or indirectly, as an employee, officer, manager, partner, consultant, agent, owner, or in any other capacity, in any competition of the client, including any company engaged in marketing consulting.

For clarity, the Creative Partner is defined as the individual Wizard of Ads® Partners who is responsible for creating your creative strategy and ongoing creative copy. Competition is defined as companies that engage in the same industry and business units (e.g., Furniture, Automotive, etc.) as you. The market area is defined as the area where the marketing message naturally reaches through DMA or 60 miles from the city center of the client's service area(s).

Naturally, we exclude any potential future competition in markets where you are not currently active at the date of signing.

We do not limit Media Buyers in any market. Media Buyers get better deals for larger volumes, making it beneficial for the client to have the Media Buyer available to do as many buys as possible to secure the best deals on the client’s behalf.

Do you do digital marketing?

Wizard of Ads® for Services can provide a host of digital marketing solutions for services. Wizard of Ads® has specialized Partners that provide digital services that serve services effectively. Under no circumstances will digital marketing services be offered without Wizard of Ads® for Services core solution.

It is most likely that Wizard of Ads® for Services will work with your existing digital partners and suppliers. If you do not have a reliable digital provider, we would be happy to introduce you to a number of great providers that play nice with Wizards.

Do you do jingles?

Wizard of Ads® for Services can assist you in getting a jingle for your business. Like any other tactical element of a marketing strategy, we do not produce a jingle for the sake of a jingle.

If you do not have a story or a strategic reason to have a jingle...or an ad campaign to tie it to, do not waste your hard-earned money on a jingle. You are wasting your time and money.

When you do build a single unified marketing strategy that incorporates a jingle for a specific (often scientific) reason, we have a Jingle Wizard who has studied the art and science of jingle design.

He will score you an original, royalty-free jingle, including professional singers, musicians, and producers. He will not knock off a generic jingle from a publicly available music bed that sounds like everyone else's jingle.

Your jingle will serve a very specific reason and produce a very specific result. Have you guessed how much we love jingles yet?

Who owns the copyrights?

Wizard of Ads® for Services owns copyrights for two very specific reasons. We also provide a fair use clause in all contracts to ensure you are in no way limited to the access of your creative works, whether you are working with us or not.

The first reason we own your copyright is to ensure that we do not have to go up against our own creative works in other markets we serve. This means you are not allowed to lend, give, borrow, tweak, rent, lease, or sell your creative works to any other company at any time.

The second reason we own your copyright is that we can establish a one-time value for your creative works in the event that someone steals the content. Upon selling you the copyrights, you can go after the perpetrator for theft and make a considerable bounty in a slam dunk case.

Here is how Wizard of Ads® word the fair use of your copyright for as long as your business is in operation:

All writing and/or marketing materials we create for you are not works-for-hire. Wizard of Ads® for Services hereby irrevocably grants you, and your successors in interest, the non-exclusive, royalty-free, non-transferable, and worldwide right to use the Works in connection with the marketing of your business pursuant to the Marketing Strategy for so long as your business is operational.
How do I measure brand results?

There are a number of interesting ways to measure results. Some people like to get unique identifying telephone numbers, or create branded URLs that redirect to landing pages or the website. However, much of this is a waste of time and energy as it never tells the true story of the brand journey and how it affected the decision-making process.

Other indicators of brand effectiveness include tracking new customers, reactivated customers, or running a brand equity survey to get a sense of your share of mind. Digitally you will see direct search increase, which cannot be affected by anything digital, as well as branded keyword inquiries increase. You’ll, of course, need to get your digital people to add these to your campaigns if you hope to see an increase in conversions.

Wizard of Ads® for Services racks the simplest of indicators. Top line revenue. When your branding takes effect, and the company responds in kind from the phone call or form fill-on, top-line revenue will increase. Efficacy is plotted on a T12, and total lead volume from all sources is tracked.

12 things you should know before signing up.
  1. Quality relationships take time. Branding is a long-term strategy. That’s why most services do it wrong, or not at all. There is always a lag between the start of the new campaign and the time it takes your customers to connect the dots. You MUST BE READY, WILLING, AND ABLE to endure this lag period. In our experience, the lag is typically 6 to 9 months, depending on how competitive the marketplace is, your company’s reputation, your budget in relation to reach, and the eight uncontrollable environmental factors. During this time, we will be helping you implement a transition plan to ease the pain. The good news is that this lag only happens once.
  2. Decisions by Committee. We completely reject the notion of decisions by committee. We work with a single, courageous decision-maker. We welcome decision influencers, but we only look to the Owner for the final decision. All decision-makers and influencers must be involved in the Uncovery and Marketing Strategy Presentation if they want to offer input in the future. It is critical that we have a 100% fully approved plan that can be defended and championed by all leaders in the organization.  
  3. Proven Strategy. That means we are not the low-cost provider. With hundreds of service clients and a playbook of strategic devices, tools, and tactics, this isn’t a guessing game for us. We know what to do to make your goods and services appealing to potential buyers. If you can deliver the goods, we can  build the relationships. If you are uncomfortable with the idea that you are paying us less now so that you can pay us considerably more once revenues allow, please do not commit. We intend to be your true partners, in sickness and in health...so long as you own your business.
  4. Automatic Payments. Everything is on automatic payments. If you struggle with managing cash flow, figure that out in your business first. We accept all major credit cards and ACH payments.
  5. We Cause Problems. If you don’t have a capacity issue now, I promise you will in about 9 months. Let’s deal with recruitment out of the gate as part of your comprehensive marketing strategy.
  6. We Own the Copyrights. All writing and/or marketing materials we create for you are not works-for-hire. We irrevocably grant you, and your successors in interest, the non-exclusive, royalty-free, non-transferable, and worldwide right to use the Works in connection with the marketing of your business pursuant to the Marketing Strategy for so long as your business is operational.
  7. Brand Building. We will be steering you to limit the use of discounts, rebates, coupons, and sales to attract clients. We know this feels counterintuitive to many, and we will clarify our reasoning. Rest assured, we have considerable experience in creating similar offers that are not damaging to your profitability, your brand’s integrity, and your preferable long-term client relations.
  8. Creative Authority. We must have creative authority over the words. You can accept copy as written or reject it outright, but you cannot modify the words yourself. If you do not like something as written, we are happy to discuss it and make the necessary change to maintain the integrity and intention of the words chosen. Alternatively, we will scrap the concept and create new copy that you are happy to get behind 100%.
  9. Proprietary Algorithm. The media buy must be structured in a very specific way, including running a full 52-week schedule. It is based on brain chemistry, not P&Ls. Once we have committed to the buy, it’s important to avoid adjustments unless they are calculated additions.
  10. Knucklehead Factor. You should expect knuckleheads. For example, when you start running ads that are certain to get attention, you need the courage to continue running those ads, even when you receive complaints. We celebrate complaints. It means we’ve made people feel.
  11. Digital Weasels. In about three months from the time your advertising campaign hits the airways, your digital marketers will show you a marked increase in direct and organic traffic. Some Digital Marketers will mistakenly claim this success as their own. Done properly, you can continue to spend less and less on digital lead generation by increasing your branded keyword online presence.
  12. Annual Marketing Meetings. Travel permitting, we prefer to hold Annual Marketing Meetings (AMMs) outside your city. Years of experience have taught us that we get better results when decision-makers are outside their sphere of influence, away from the day-to-day distractions of the office.

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